I think im going to throw up on grandma
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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