Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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