D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
