5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
