you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
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