It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
