I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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