I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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