why didn't you poke me back
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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