The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
