I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
