you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
