can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
