is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
