ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
