i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
