I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
