sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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