I hate your face
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
birth control should be required to get into college
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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