My nipple is on Facebook.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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