all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
