just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
