rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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