I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
