Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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