Porn is love you can see.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
