u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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