this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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