Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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