i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
