Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
