PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
