i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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