I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
