Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
