so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
