she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
