Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
