There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
