sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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