Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
