i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
