so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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