I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
