Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
