was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
