She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The Olympian is in my bed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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