apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
