My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
