Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
