So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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