omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I die, sorry about rent.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
